this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How's work?
Spinning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
