you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
