Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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