idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
