So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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