How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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