It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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