i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
