Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize