I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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