I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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