We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
