I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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