If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
