So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
