Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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