She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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