Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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