Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
