You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
