She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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