i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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