i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
