i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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