i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
