We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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