I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
