how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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