Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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