You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize