Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize