Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
