Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
