I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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