lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
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well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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