matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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