i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
