I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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