Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
