shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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