She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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