I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
