Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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