I forgot how hot balto sounded
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
