Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
