Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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