am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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