i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
