How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
