Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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