Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
