my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
