Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
