so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
