I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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