I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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