What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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