I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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