In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
