I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
