so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am mentally ready for anal.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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