Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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