Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize