But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
